"Handsome. Hungry. Available for shoulder rides by appointment. I came from a foster home and immediately identified this household as adequate for my needs. I have since made myself comfortable on every available surface, including several shoulders. I am velcro when the mood strikes and permanently asleep when it does not. I have a sister named Stella. Our relationship is complex. I start the fights. She wins them. I have never reconsidered this strategy. I will not be reconsidering it now. My motto is 'Where's the beef.' I ask this several times a day. The answer is never satisfactory. I remain optimistic. My proudest achievement is getting the laser dot. You know what I'm talking about."