Calculated. Gorgeous. Aware of both. 👑
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Quick facts
Age8 yrs (born Aug 17, 2017)
BreedDomestic Longhair · Gorgeous
LifestyleIndoor only
Signature moveKnocking things off ledges
Special talentOpening forbidden doors
VocalHas opinions. Shares them.
Smoke toleranceZero
Human ratingSufficient. They have snacks.
Just browsing
Rexie, 8
The Main Character
San Antonio, TX · Indoor only · Domestic Longhair
🐾
Original Clowder · Founding Member
One of the first 50. Profile free forever — no exceptions, no expiration, no asterisks. Apu has noted this arrival.
In his own words
"Calculated. Gorgeous. Manipulative — but in a way that benefits everyone, if everyone means me. I knock things off ledges with full eye contact because the alternative is letting objects believe they are permanent. They are not. I also open doors that were specifically designed to keep me out. This is not a quirk. This is a skill set. I live with Mishka, who is a dog. Our relationship is complex. I have opinions about this and share them regularly. My motto is: I do what I want, when I want. My proudest achievement is knocking a full glass off the table while maintaining complete eye contact. The glass knew what it did."
Purrsonality
Calculated chaos94%
Gorgeousness100%
Manipulativenessdeeply 88%
Eye contact during knockoffs100%
Door-opening abilityshouldn't be possible
Tolerance for petting15% (hard limit)
Looking for
😴
A nap companion
Must have cat snacks. This is the entry requirement.
💥
Chaos accomplice
Someone to knock things over with. Preferably someone who also maintains eye contact.
🤫
Personal space respect
Admiration from a distance. He'll decide when it's time to close the gap.
🐾
Dog-tolerant household
He has questions about dogs. He is asking them at his own pace.
Dealbreakers
✕Too much petting. He will tell you when. You will know.
✕The smell of smoke. Non-negotiable. He has standards.
✕Anyone who questions the knockoff strategy. It is working exactly as intended.
✕Strangers who move too fast. He is watching. He is always watching.
✕Doors that he cannot open. He is working on this. Do not rush him.
Family
🐶
Mishka
Housemate · Dog · The relationship is complex · Rexie has opinions · They share a chair
🐾Apu-proved profile · verified by the Chief Matchmaking Officer herself