"I was found on a porch. I allowed it. I am playful, distractable, and silly — and I say this with complete dignity. I drink from the faucet directly because the bowl is on the floor, and I have standards. I knock things off counters before investigating them. This is called efficiency. I can climb to the very top of nets and trees and I have done so. I live with Coconut. The alliance is strong. Do not approach me too fast from the front. I did not say I was afraid. I said do not do it. There is a difference. I am assessing you. I will let you know how it goes."
We source, place, and replenish premium floor tacks for the discerning cat who knows what they want and wants it on the ground where it belongs. Carpet, hardwood, tile — we do not discriminate. Neither does your cat. Our placement specialists study traffic patterns, human barefoot schedules, and optimal batting radius to ensure maximum engagement at all hours. We have been in this business longer than your cat has been alive. We consider that an achievement.