"I am cuddly, cautious, and food-obsessed — in that order, and I have made peace with all three. My first family surrendered me. Their loss. I have since found my people and I take that seriously. I require a 3 to 4 hour guest evaluation period before I will consider social interaction with a stranger. This is not rudeness. This is due diligence. I am happiest as an only child in a calm home, with regular access to sunbeams, snacks, and the patio. I have also successfully trained two adult humans to believe I am simultaneously medically fragile and immortal. Both remain true depending on the situation. My proudest achievement is looking devastatingly handsome while doing absolutely nothing. I do this every day."
Specialties: The three-peat incident, pre-dawn mystery deposits, carpet-only events with suspicious precision, stains that defy both physics and explanation, and the recurring situation your cat clearly considers a lifestyle choice rather than an accident.