"I arrived on a back porch with nothing but my voice and my standards. Both remain intact. I am a Greek god, and I expect to be treated as such. I will be in your business. This is not negotiable and has never been up for discussion. I have opinions about your schedule, your snacks, and your general decision-making. I share them loudly and at length. I once killed a rat. I have not forgotten this. Neither should you."
Does your cat have tape on their tail? Again? We understand. Untangling Services specializes in adhesive entanglement, unsanctioned tail decoration, emergency de-taping, and post-incident emotional recovery for the human involved. We arrive promptly. We ask no questions. We restore dignity to all parties. We will be back next week.